Are You Looking At Me Because I’m Pretty… Or Because You Enjoy Being Slapped?

As I was laughing at how a recent real-life event was a storyline in a daytime soap opera (which made me realize I could now be a writer for one of those shows with all the fodder I have in store…but that will have to be another post), I noticed how BIG THE FREAKING FONTS are on cell phones on tv shows. This started a discussion between me and my buddy @dannybelize on tv shows portrayal of technology. And since I’m on a list-making roll, I thought I’d start yet another:

1. People immediately start typing instead of using their mouse/touchpad – I guess computers never go to sleep, you don’t need to open/close applications  and you always are at the exact point you need to be when you start typing. Maybe they also have new-fangled technology that links brain function to the computer so that it is exactly where they need it to be…
2. Fonts on cell phones and computers – I can’t imagine how long it would take to text a message or type a story. I would probably go into an epileptic frenzy from all the screen changes and scrolling…but that would probably get good ratings on a soap opera…
3. Bluetooth earpieces – all secret agent men seem to have exceptional links since their earpieces are reliable at all times. As @jnassi says “I can’t make a fucking phone call, but they can stop the evil <insert villain of the week here> without dropping the connection”. I think perhaps the bluetooth technology is embedded in the agent himself.  Just you watch…it will come out in hour 23:45 on 24.
4. Fingerprint matching – all the crime shows have fingerprint matching in seconds that pop up with the perfect suspect with picture identification and all relevant information right at their fingertips.  Being a fan of forensic science and criminal investigations, I’ve read many a book/report that what you really get is a list of possible matches that then have to be examined by thoroughly trained human eyes for comparison. The list goes on and on for the multitude of sins committed by crime shows on this one aspect. For those of you interested, Live Science goes into some detail about it.
5. Operating systems – where most offices use Windows, it seems like tv shows love using graphical command line interfaces. I guess this is done to show how smart an individual is that automatically knows how to hack into the “crazy Unix  from hell” system (as @jnassi puts it). And of course passwords only take a few minutes through brute force because most people apparently like to use “Fluffy Bunny” and “Sunshine” as their passwords.

I may have to leave my brains at the door if I intend to become a writer for a tv show….

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~ by Far on February 12, 2009.