Shut your Mouth when you’re TALKING to me!

Believe it or not, we actually found people that were more obnoxious than us on our South Africa trip. Well, they weren’t REAL people, just two annoying children that were on our Safari trip. We had to endure their random screaming and loud behavior for most of the daytrip… I figured I’d get my revenge on the return trip back to Cape Town as we’re loading into the shuttle…

One of the kids noticed a piece of equipment attached to the interior roof of the shuttle van. So he starts asking what it is. One of the other passengers replies that it’s a DVD player, to which the obnoxious child starts yelling, “DVD player! DVD player!”

So this obnoxious child comes up to me for some GOD-forsaken reason, and the conversation goes like this…

OC: Did you know that there’s a DVD player in here?
Abid: Yes, but it’s broken.
OC: How do you know that?
Abid: Because I broke it.
OC: No you didn’t
Abid: Actually I did, it’s what I do for a living—breaking things.
OC: No you don’t
Abid: Actually I do, it’s a very lucrative business, you should try it sometime.
OC: You’re lying
Abid: You just don’t understand because you’re too young. Wait until you get older, then you’ll understand.

So he turns to brother Adil for confirmation

OC: does he really break things?
Adil: Yes he does. Don’t get too close though, cuz he may break YOU next!

He notices that I’m fidgeting with my MP3 player

OC: Did you break that?
Abid: Yes, it’s supposed to play videos but it doesn’t because I broke it.

I start laughing and he notices my braces. (YES, I wear braces, but not for much longer…)

OC: Lemme see your braces!
Abid: aaaahhhhhhh
OC: You don’t have that thing in the roof of your mouth
Abid: that’s cuz I broke it
OC: nuh-uh
Abid: You see these braces on the top row? They’re supposed to connect all the way to my back teeth, like the bottom row. But they don’t because I broke them.
OC: WOW! You break EVERYthing!
(note:  I’m having the front teeth in the top row torqued, so I don’t need the brace to go all the way to the back, which of course I didn’t tell the obnoxious child)

He starts asking me about other things I’ve broken, for which I come up with more elaborate lies. His guardian finally shows up and the obnoxious child starts pointing at me and yelling, “This guy breaks EVERYthing!” The guardian has a confused look on his face and doesn’t know how to respond. I just put my headphones on and pretend nothing ever happened….

~ by Abid on June 4, 2009.