Ouise’s Table

Ouise’s is an old time standard here in Houston. I’ve heard about it for years and yet I just made it to this restaurant a couple of months ago. One of the all time favorites is the Shrimp & Grits. And I of course had to try. Most people I know don’t care for grits and sometimes even find it downright disturbing. I am definitely a southern girl at heart because I do love my grits. Especially when drowned in butter and creamed with cheese. The taste will leave you with the true meaning of why people enjoy grits. And the basil in this dish made it sublime.

A spicy sauté of Gulf Shrimp, mushrooms, bacon & scallions over cheese grits.

Branchwater Tavern

Out of all the dishes at Branchwater Tavern, I have to say my favorite was the Sticky Toffee Pudding. Ecstasy in my mouth is what I called it. If nothing else, I urge you to run, not walk, but RUN to Branchwater for this immaculate dessert. (Follow on twitter: @branchtavern)

Sticky Toffee Pudding with Pistachio Ice Cream

Haven

Certified green, Chef Randy Evans has brought a lovely little corner to life with Haven. The patio is such a lovely spot that I didn’t want to leave after lunch and did my best to loiter to the soothing trickle of the water fountain. The strawberry grouper was a very light and refreshing taste with just the right bit of flakiness that made it a succulent meal in my mouth; and adding just a splash of extra citrus on it just made my day. (Follow on twitter: @HavenHouston)

Wood grilled strawberry grouper with a citrus salad

Tiny Boxwoods

Nestled next to a nursery is the lovely little restaurant Tiny Boxwoods. Sometimes the line is out the door, so get there early for lunch. During lovely weather like today, it was so nice sitting outside with my Salad Trio. The best part was washing it down with a “lunch punch”  made from champagne and fruit.

Salad Trio of tarragon chicken, mixed greens tossed in a champagne vinaigrette and fresh fruit.

*Note: All the photos in this post were taken with my iPhone

© SINICISM, LLC

Courtesy of my good buddy @dfella

So…made a quickie trip to Peru to see the fabulous Machu Picchu over Thanksgiving ’09 and we managed to find our way to a most luscious luncheon on our layover in Lima …

Astrid y Gastón

As with every meal, you have to start with a good wine. And we totally scored here with this beautifully bodied Carménère.

Chateau Los Boldos Grand Reserve Carménère 2007

I started my foodie experience with a Fois Gras a la Brasa. This was not on the appetizer menu, but they were lovely enough to create an appetizer portion for me. The fois gras was atop a type of brioche with a green foam and fig reduction. This experience reminded me of the true meaning of xmas, I mean why ducks need to be harvested for organs, I mean why fois gras is so damn good when it’s done right.

Foi Gras a la Brasa

Another appetizer at the table was an Octopus dish. The plating of this dish was gorgeous and I’m only sorry that my picture doesn’t do it justice. The texture of the octopus was how I like it: not rubbery. And if I remember correctly (it HAS been quite a few months and I dumbly didn’t write down my thoughts at the time), the taste was good too.

Pulpo, Piquillos, Garbanzos - Octopus, Piquillo Peppers, Garbanzos in ChimiChurri Emulsion

The third appetizer was a Cebiche. The presentation was pretty but the corn in it kind of threw me and brother Abid said it was average compared to some of the other great cebiches we had in Aguas Calientes.

Cebiche Adventura - Grouper and Octopus Cebiche with Camu Camu and Aji Amarillo Emulsion

My main entrée was a Merlin fish which was flaked perfectly and had a succulent flavor combination with the chimichurri. This was my big introduction to quinoa and I loved it. I can’t remember the reduction used in the quinoa, but what I do remember is how flavorful and delicious it was.

Pez Merlin with a ChimiChurri Emulsion atop a Vegetable Quinoa

Alpaca (basically llama) was another entrée and I was told it was tasty.

Alpaca

Argentine Beef. That’s all I know.

Argentine Beef

I believe the Suckling Pig was considered good, but I didn’t get a chance to try it as I was stuffing my face full of the Merlin.

El Cochinillo de Tres Semanas - Suckling Pig Confit'd for 3 Weeks

I was too full by the end of the meal to try any of the desserts, but I took some pictures at least:

Suspiro de Limena

Rice Pudding with Aji Sorbet

Hell If I Know

I’ve been reading Rob Gokee’s (aka @RobGokeeMusic on Twitter) “In the Belly of the Fail Whale“. Both gut-busting hilarious and a heart-wrenching beautiful account of his experience with Twitter. Makes you want to join his Pantsless Revolution. “Vive sans pants!”

I’ve been watching Brian Spaeth (aka @brianspaeth on Twitter) in “Who Shot Mamba?” – and I have to say, his blue eyes pretty much made any actoring on his part unnecessary.

I’ve been storing up on sleep in preparation for attending the National Fiery Food Show in Albuquerque and meeting up with my buddies  @eatmoreheat (the Spicy Specialist) and @psedillo (Filmmaker/Photographer & All-Around Cool Guy). They will be filming and posting on their Spicy RV site. If I was smarter, I would be scared…

I’ve been trying out new restaurants in Houston. Unfortunately I’ve been slacking in the picture taking arena, but here are a few new to me with my favorite dishes:

• Yelapa - Cebiche, Oysters, Sopes (Colorado Lamb Shoulder, Mexican ‘Kim Chee’, Avocado)
• Stella Sola – Bone Marrow Service
• Tiny Boxwoods – Grilled Cheese and Pesto Sandwich
• Canopy – Crab Remoulade and Tomato Salad, Buttermilk Fried Pork Loin
• Kata Robata – Lunch Bento boxes and much more
• Ginza - Tuna Tartar

Then there’s always keeping up with Jason X and his fuckery on The User Pool. No matter how the day is going, I can always count on him to make me snicker. And by snicker, I mean snicker.

I’m watching @KesslerX (one of Jason’s “X-Men”) try his hand at blogging instead of his crank. Baby steps man, baby steps…

From all these “@” handles, you probably think I’m just another twitter addict. And you would be pretty spot on about that. There are so many more out there… and at least I’ve met some cool people…

Naked vs. Nekkid. Discuss.

And here are the responses I received:

• Nekkid, of course. It presumes you have a partner in crime. @silas216
• Yes please. Both. Thank you. Double helping, actually… @DNACowboy
• Taking a shower and taking a shower with company. And maybe alcohol is involved. @Lynnster23
• Naked means you don’t have any clothes on. Nekkid means you don’t have any clothes on … and you’re up to somethin @DrumDog2112
• Depends on the context. @urbanhoustonian
• @urbanhoustonian Doesn’t not wearing any clothes need to be the only context? @briguyblock
• Naked. Cause I’m high class like that. @semperjeff
• Naked is just a vocabulary word. Nekkid is a state of mind, a place of being. @rahsheen
• Naked – when one sleeps without clothing. Nude – when one posts for a painting. Nekkid – When someone nude reads Bloom County. @SF_Steph
• Nekkid entails running around an entire apartment or house. Naked is confined to a room or two. @bklynMF
• Nekkid implies naughtyness. @FatElvis04
• naked is for realzies…nekkid is for funzies??? @ruby2466
• I like Nekkid…bucky nekkid. That is all. @newkicks
• naked when you’re serious and nekkid when you’re play flirting @kiffar
• “Naked” means you have no clothes on. “Nekkid” means you have no clothes on and you’re up to something. @CityDifferent
• No difference. Whether I’m naked or nekkid, I’m up to something. So let’s just say I’m nude. How’d that be? @TheUserPool
• naked chicken vs get butt nekkid @TechBabe

If you didn’t get a chance to respond, or *gasp* are not on Twitter… add your response here….

It was in retaliation for the violation she suffered indirectly through my hands. I knew that look she gave me afterwards oh so well. It spoke volumes – it was saying “You better run bitch, I’m coming for you.” She managed to mask her approach as she stealthily stalked me. I felt I had nowhere to turn to escape her vindictiveness. I awaited my punishment in anguished fear. For whom the bell tolls, it tolled for ME…! That’s just a little warning to you folks, never take your pussycat to the vet.

*Disclaimer: Events portrayed in this story may have actually occurred.

Porn Names for Movie Stars

Jennifer Loves Her-Clit

Bounce On Me Knowles

Victoria Cockbreath

Rebecca Ramingme

Anne Has-her-way

Kate Winslut

Reese Witherpoon

Catherine Zeta-Bones

Demi Morehead

Demi Moist

Gwen Sucksonme 

Winona Ride-her

Heather Cockmore

Calista Cockhart

Megan Cox

Elijah Morningwood

Heidi Cums

Rachael Raynal

Courtney Cocks

Zooey Deschanel

Jessica Sucksonme

Keanu Skeets

Sohorny Weaver

Favorite Porn Name for Kid’s Movie/Video

Who Fucked Roger Rabbit

Beauty and the Boner

Toy Story

Jolt (Vibrator story)

Little Whore-pan Annie

Lemony Snickets – A series of misfortunate dick

Snow Bunnies

Indiana Hoes

Peter and Anne

Hoe in White and 7 Little Boys

Star Whores

Transformers – Didoes in disguise

Because of Winn’s Dickie

Night of the Humpus

Beauty and His Boner

Finding Nymphos

A Whore’s Life

Mary Pops In

Betty’s Juice

Pete’s Draggin’

Journey To The Center Of My Hole

Whack To The Future

Open Sheila

Uncle Fuck 

Harry Fucked Mrs. Henderson

Tom’s Up Jerry

Charlotte Gives Head

Shrek – The Wild

Mada Gives Head In A Car

Charlie And The Chocolate Factory

Willies And Hooters

Puss In Boots

Fuck Me On The Moon

New Poon

1. Masturbating is pretending to be your own homosexual rapist. Unless you’re a bottom, then it’s pretending to be the victim. [@DieLaughing]
2. “Justin: Your phone call last night was super ridiculous. At one point you said to the guy “oh yeah fuck me with your captain crunch dick”.” [@beccaomgz]
3. Spent the past 1.5 hours sending “honestly, why haven’t we had sex yet?” to everyone on my buddy list. The funny has been HUGE so far. [@omgitsadam]
4. A male birth control pill has been developed, but critics are questioning the “morning-after” pill’s effectiveness…. #jokes #humor [@wbaustin]
5. The people who think water can make you smarter need SmartWater the most, if only it did more than hydrate. [@Grundy]
6. You know what capitalism is? Getting fucked! [@shiteatingfuck]
7. You know what it means when you sneeze? It means that God thinks you’re a slut. [@twoname]
8. OH: sex is a universal language which is a good thing because sometimes you just don’t want to understand what he’s saying. [@cari2702]
9. When I ask for a Coke or Diet Coke at a restaurant, and they say,”Is Pepsi alright?”, I want to answer, “I don’t know.” and then just stare. [@jasoncrouch]
10. Those aren’t kids, those are fuck trophies. #realtalk #mypickuplines [@EmpireRising]
11. It’s easy to have an opinion when you don’t have any experience to cloud your judgment. [@BevLan to @extralife]
12. I’m pretty sure meat contains some kind of vital nutrient for intelligence, because all the vegetarians I meet are fucking retarded. [@Konstantine]
13. I love Coldplay. But when I hear them live I remember that Chris Martin can’t sing in real life. [@epicwelshman]
14. My pal Dennis told me this and I knew you’d appreciate it: “I’m switching to free advice–cheap thrills cost too much.” [@Snakecharmers to @@FarWyde]
15. Do not PR spam me with multicolored comic sans. EVER. AGAIN. whoever you are. I will hunt you down and fucking kill you. [@violetblue]
16. Corruption, deliciously so, is really a matter of degrees… I’m sure there’s tons of fun things you haven’t tried yet…hehe [@sebasroy in response to @farwyde: Not sure if you can corrupt what is already corrupted...]
17. Forgive me, Twitter, for I have sinned. What’s the going rate for calling a ligature “hot”? One Hail @ev and six Our Favorites? [@camh]
18. Fucking is not the answer, but I wouldn’t mind. [@ThinkingStiff]
19. “The difference btw ‘involvement’ and ‘commitment’ is like an eggs and ham breakfast: the chicken was ‘involved’ the pig was ‘committed’.” [@sethsimonds]
20. Love is like a Booger, you keep working at it, but than when you have it, you have no idea what to do with it! [@AdrianEden]
21. RT @jmoriarty: RT @jmoriarty: When you don’t have anything to say, find something to ReTweet. [@jmoriarty]
22. You know that big yellow band we put on the book that said DO NOT REMOVE that you removed? Yeah. That’s why you have no idea wtf your doing. [@pandamans]
23. DICKLASH, noun (see also: clitlash, whippedlash) – Medical condition affecting the neck, caused by craning during extended oral sex. #groin [@3liza]
24. Fuck me now. #3hotwords. Simple as that, really. [@epicwelshman to @farwyde]
25. Vacation is like a Penis: No matter how long it is, you always wish it was longer! [@FunQuotes]
26. The people you use end up using you. The perfect end state. [@TheUserPool]
27. God knows the world might implode if we speak truthful things. It really might. [@msfitznham]
28. “Said I loved you but I lied”  <- another fun thing to sing that will get you slapped if you start a real conversation with it. [@sethsimonds]
29. Sometimes I wish I had superpowers, and that I could fight for justice and save the world. Other times I just wish I had pants… [@KaiserWillis]
30. OH: a bullet is a terrible thing to waste!!!! [@SexyCougar]
31. If you follow me and you call yourself some sort of “marketing strategist” or “social media expert”, fuck off. You’re a professional douche. [@Telesticles]
32. If walmart customers make love like they they park, we would not need birth control cuz they’d never git it in! [@snt_trading]
33. Is it premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married? [@KellyBurnett]
34. Drinking coffee without caffeine is like having sex without penetration. [@Aimee_B_Loved]
35. Evil will always triumph because good is dumb. [@jnassi]
36. OH: I Googled his name and it came up retard. [@Eunice007]
37. What do you call it when you hit your spouse and they don’t say anything? Domestic silence. [@stratosk]
38. Duty thought o’ the day: if idle hands are the devil’s playground… then jerking off must be his word processing. Just sayin’. [@theduty]
39. You know what would make for the perfect wedding ceremony? …lazertag. Just think about it. You’re welcome. [@theduty]
40. A charming man can quickly talk a woman into bed; a charming woman quickly gets into bed without being talked into it. [@TheUserPool]
41. Your mother is so fat, if she fell out of a tree she’d go straight to Hell. [@crackbarbie]
42. Pussy is full of win. Especially when it’s full of dick. [@jnassi in response to @farwyde: Pussy always wins...]
43. Sobriety is an eating disorder. [@onanything]
44. Feeling rowdy. Gonna pick a fight with a homeless guy- got nothing against the homeless, just pretty sure I could win. [@SteveIsaacs]
45. I blame everything on alcohol except sex. That’s clearly my dick’s fault. [@TheUserPool]
46. Work is an 8-hour hostage situation. [@Aimee_B_Loved]
47. The secret to self-confidence is simple: believe the lies you tell yourself. [@indefensible]
48. Monotony is a false sense of security… [@jengrly]
49. I sincerely hope stupidity is not contagious. [@Misadventures]
50. The ratio at happy hour tonight is 50/50. 50% of the guys are less attractive than the other 50% of unattractive guys. [@Lynnster23]

And not to worry, if you’re not on the this list, there’s a good possibility that you’ll be on the next. I have a fairly long [and growing] list…. heh

You may think I haven’t been posting… I have, but it’s all been under the Far View on Food portion… I’ve been eating my way through the summer apparently:

• Houston Birthday Foodie Adventure
• Austin Foodie Trip